by Paul Kay

WASHINGTON(AP) — Republican front-runner Mike Huckabee was caught tonight inside the Hyatt Regency Washington embracing Santa Claus. Mickey Westport, 8, caught the former governor with his hands stroking the man’s beard and staring doe fully into his eyes.

“It was terrible,” said Westport. “Santa winked at me and then I ran for help. The cops refused to do anything.”

Janet Huckabee, his wife, made a media splash earlier this week while announcing that she would cast her vote for democrat Barack Obama.

“I like black meat,” Janet Huckabee said. “And Christ does too.”

She filed for divorce the next morning citing irreconcilable differences.

Former Gov. Huckabee will depend heavily on the conservative vote in the ’08 election and one can only speculate how this week will affect his campaign strategy.

Obama and Huckabee campaign offices declined to comment.

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the founder and editor of Beatdom literary journal and the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs the Weird Cult and World Citizen: Allen Ginsberg as Traveller. His next book, High White Notes: The Rise and Fall of Gonzo Journalism comes out in November, 2021.

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