Magicians Assistant

by Scroobius Pip

Its tragic.

You try to cut yourself in half but this ain’t magic

In fact its

Something far more dark and more dramatic.

Self harm

That’s what they call it.

Because it just affects YOU

It’s YOUR life

YOUR body

So YOU can choose what YOU do

And if one day you can’t rein it in and of your last breath you are the only witness?

Then so be it because its YOUR last breath and its nobody else’s business.

But…how about your little sister?

I mean you think your life’s been bad

And by no means am I belittling that because I know the troubles you’ve had

But a teen finding out her big sister chose death over life.

Finding out that instead of turning to her with your problems, you turned to a knife.

That’s a whole lot of pain to deal with, and a whole lot of damage

And the only roll model she has now is little more than words engraved in granite

But as you said before, this is just effects YOU

It’s YOUR life

YOUR body

So YOU can choose what YOU do

And if one day you can’t rein it in and of your last breath you are the only witness?

Then so be it because its YOUR last breath and its nobody else’s business.

But…how about your parents?

God knows they’ve done all they can to support.

Yeah you didn’t grow up in a mansion but they gave you the best life they could afford.

And the second that last bit of life trickles out and your lungs cease to breath

They have failed the most important task and test they will ever receive.

They have failed to give their child a life that’s worth living

And that’s a failure that, as long as they live, of themselves is unforgiving.

But as you said before, this is just effects YOU

It’s YOUR life

YOUR body

So YOU can choose what YOU do

And if one day you can’t rein it in and of your last breath you are the only witness?

Then so be it because its YOUR last breath and its nobody else’s business.

But…how about your friends?

How did they fail to see this coming?

I mean you can only hold so much pain and recently it seems like the tap has been left running.

Families grow distant but it’s meant to be your friends you can rely on

They shouldn’t just be there for the fun and the drinks; they should also be a shoulder to cry on.

They should be the ones you go to when you can’t talk to your family

But they’ve failed too, because although you didn’t ask for it, there support should have been mandatory

But as you said before, this is just effects YOU

It’s YOUR life

YOUR body

So YOU can choose what YOU do.

And if one day you can’t rein it in and of your last breath you are the only witness?

Then so be it because its YOUR last breath and its nobody else’s business.

But then…what about me?

What kind of boyfriend am I?

Instead of living a life I was a big part of, you would rather die.

Instead of fighting through together and turning things around

You decided the grass was greener on the other side of the ground

Of our shared lives there was nothing worth living for as far as you could see

And if that’s the case what is there left in this life for me?

But as you said before, this is just effects YOU

It’s YOUR life

YOUR body

YOUR sister

YOUR parents

YOUR friends

And YOUR partner

So YOU can choose what YOU do.

And if one day you can’t rein it in and of your last breath you are the only witness?

Then fuck everybody else, because that ain’t something you’ve got to live with.

David S. Wills

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David S. Wills is the founder and editor of Beatdom literary journal and the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs the Weird Cult. He travels a lot and currently lectures in China. He also runs an ESL website. You can read more about and by David at his blog, www.davidswills.com or on Tumblr.

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